Description
It was a pleasant spring day—about 70 degrees, with the sun shining and a slight breeze. It was the kind of day I would have enjoyed celebrating by playing tennis, jogging, and helping my son learn how to ride his bicycle (an aggravating but necessary task). Instead, I was on the shoulder of a country road in upstate New York with my hands on my knees, vomiting. Th e story of how I wound up on such a glorious day in such an inglorious position serves as an important lesson.
At the time, I was an assistant professor, imposing my know-it-all attitude upon unsuspecting and innocent college students at the State University of New York at Buffalo. I had become quite successful in each of the three areas the university established as criteria for promotion and tenure: teaching, research and other publications, and university and community service. Th e student evaluations of my classes were quite flattering. I had published approximately 15 articles in professional journals and was contracted to write my first book. So much for teaching and the proverbial “publish or perish” syndrome. It is on the community-service criteria that I need to elaborate.
To meet the community-service standards of acceptance for promotion and tenure, I made myself available as a guest speaker to community groups. I soon found that I was able to motivate groups of people through speeches and workshops on numerous topics, both directly and tangentially related to my area of expertise—health education. I spoke to the local Kiwanis Club on the topic “Drug Education Techniques” and to the Green Acres Cooperative Nursery School’s parents and teachers on “Drug Education for Young Children.” I was asked to present the senior class speech at Medaille College on “Sex Education” and wound up conducting workshops for local public school districts on suchconcerns as “Why Health Education?” “Values and Teaching,” “Group Process,” and “Peer Training Programs for Cigarette-Smoking Education.” Th ings started to take shape, and I expanded my local presentations to state and national workshops and to presenting papers at various state and national meetings.
My life changed rapidly and repeatedly. I went to Buff alo as an assistant professor and was promoted twice, leaving as a full professor with tenure and administrative responsibility for the graduate program in health education.
When I left Buff alo, I had published more than 40 articles in professional journals, and my second book was soon to come off the presses. During my tenure at SUNY/Buff alo, I appeared on radio and television programs and was the subject of numerous newspaper articles. In Buff alo I bought my fi rst house, fathered my two children, and won my first tennis tournament. In short, I became a success.
So why the vomiting? I was experiencing too much change in too short a period of time. I wondered if I was as good as others thought I was or if I was just lucky.
I worried about embarrassing myself in front of other people and became extremely anxious when due to speak in front of a large group—so anxious that on a nice spring day, about 70 degrees, with the sun shining and a slight breeze, as I was on my way to address a group of teachers, school administrators, and parents in Wheatfield, New York, I became sick to my stomach.